Friday, August 20, 2010

Sponsor A Smile This Weekend and Help Us Shed Light In The Dark!!"




"You are my lamp, Lord. My God illuminates the darkness around me." Psalms 18

 I am gearing up for a long/late bus ride tonight again. I have always loved traveling but this past year has seriously challenged that love! This weekend we are heading to an area of Nicaragua to hold a jewelry workshop through our program, "The Mariposa Project". This will be the first time we have held a workshop in this particular area. I received word yesterday that already many women from a brothel area have signed up for the workshop. My cup runneth over, Jesus! Annita, our field director in Nicaragua could hardly contain her joy and desperation to help these women. She had just returned from meeting these women and sharing with them about the Mariposa Project. I was in a constant state of prayer as I waited to hear from her. These areas are dark and physically dangerous that Annita was visiting. The suspense and waiting was almost my undoing! So you can imagine my joy to receive a message on skype from her! Here is how our conversation went,

Annita: "Anna!!!!"
Me: "Hi!!!"
Annita: 7 more of them will go on Monday..they really are so excited
I saw their smiles.....
Me: "yay!!!"
Annita: ..."my heart was broken today with the prostitutes...they need a lot help dude"
Me: "well we are going to help them!!....tell me about it?"
Annita: "yes...for example one of them got a infection in her leg...and it look horrible"
Me: "okay we will try and get her help"
Annita: "okay and another girl was vomitting because she don't have any food today and her stomach was empty :( so I went and buy some bread for them."
Me: Okay, I will figure some things out when I get there and I will look at the one girl's wound.
My heart is breaking too....."
Annita:"but they are so excited about Monday!"

We made a few plans and said our goodbyes. I sat staring at the computer screen feeling such a mix of emotions. My heart breaking for these young girls and yet also so full of hope. Jesus is hope and I cannot wait for them to know him like I know him and I know His heart breaks more for these girls than mine does. He has an answer for them. I felt so humbled and such anticipation to get to these women, to hug them and love on them.

Psalms 9:18 says,"for the needy are not permanently ignored, the hopes of the oppressed are not forever dashed."

In this program we will teach the women a new trade, minister to and love on them; feed them and attend to their basic medical needs. Many are sick or malnourished  and simply in need of a hug!


I feel so blessed that so many people have been asking how they can help! Wow, how amazing the body of Christ can be. There are two ways people can help with the event this coming weekend:
1.) PRAY, PRAY, PRAY! We need safety and protection as we head into new and unknown territory. Divine provision and in general the message of love to be conveyed to all who come through the door.
2.) You can purchase a jewelry starter kit for just $8.00 and sponsor a smile! This kit contains enough for a woman to make herself a couple pairs of earrings, allow her to learn the "how to" in the workshop and receive a full meal.

Monday, August 16, 2010

New Beginnings

With a culture saturated in sex and distorted ideas of how women and men should look, act or love; young people everywhere have to fight for the purity that their maker has entrusted them with. But there is a change in the wind; God is raising up a generation willing to fight for what the enemy has taken away.

LightForce International Ministries is committed to the fight.  In addition to reaching out to exploited women and children, it is our heart to help young women restore the standard of purity in their hearts and lives. 

From July 19th-23rd,  LightForce had the privilege to partner with Village Ministries International and Young Life Nicaragua, where we held four one-day conferences in three different Nicaraguan cities. These conferences, themed Passion and Purity, were specifically designed to target young women ages 13-21 and restore the hope of innocence. Passion and Purity was sponsored through our program entitled, The Mariposa Project.

Our team consisting of myself, Laura P., Laura G., Breanne, Jacob and Ana A., Rusti and Octavia took turns sharing from a biblical perspective and answering questions on the issues of Love, Sex, Dating and Marriage.

Our seminar each day was broken into three main parts:

Love and Passion

Holiness and Purity

Redemption and Restoration


In the middle of the sessions and at the end of every day, we set aside time to answer question the women had written down. We gave them little sheets of paper to write their question anonymously and every single young girl took that option! Here are just a few examples of the questions we received:


I want to obey God. How can I do that?

How can I avoid someone lying to me in a relationship and know that they really love me?

I know that God can do something more in my life.  What is the way that I can go for His purpose? Because I really want an experience…something new and wonderful.

What do you look for in a guy?

Why are there guys in church that break your heart, but that say they know the love of God?

 Do men and women have the same feelings?

After I was raped I thought boys would not like me anymore. How come it did not happen? They do like me.

Nowadays the phrase love and passion means having sex.  In courtship men ask for the test of love (sex)…why do they think that?

How long do I have to wait to be healed from sexual abuse?

Is virginity spiritual, psychological, or physical?

After I have been raped by my partner what can I do to feel like a new virgin?


These are just some of more than a hundred questions in total we had received at the end of the week. I would estimate that 1 in 3 girls had either been raped or sexually abused. When we polled girls in the States, we received similar questions.


As Christians, we have a responsibility to deliver the truth and answer the questions and cries of this generation. It is a battle for purity, a tough one. Many of the questions we were faced with were good and difficult. They contained graphic topics on issues of sexuality in today's society.   



 In addition to speaking to the women on love, sex, dating, and marriage, we also engaged them through drama, crafts, and serving them a meal. In conducting these seminars and educating young women, it is our goal to use this as a preventative measure for those at high risk for sexual exploitation.

The response from young women all over exceeded my expectations. At each seminar my heart melted as I looked into their eyes and saw the longing for hope, love and redemption. The gospel of Jesus Christ is good news and that is exactly what they needed to hear! The team from VMI was incredible, and I could not have asked for a better group to launch this project with.

The preparations for the seminar was a joint effort from our team, Mark, Rusti, Jacob Bottom and Laura Gassaway. I want to say a special thank you to them for their tireless efforts and contributions to the curriculum for Passion and Purity.

The week following the seminars our team had the wonderful opportunity to assist VMI with vacation bible school in a very poor area of Esteli, Nicaragua. This week was fun and yet very challenging as we worked to teach the children the gospel as well as proper behavior. In an area where manners are not a priority, our entire team was challenged in gaining their respect and attention. Daily there were obstacles and calamities and yet so much joy.

My favorite part of each day was worship time. We taught the children three songs including hand motions, and they caught on so quickly. This moment seemed to be the one time we managed to have all the children in one room where they were all attentive and engaged! Rusti did an incredible job of organizing the entire program and running the show!

I was encouraged and blessed for our ministry team to have the opportunity to work and serve with VMI this summer. The unity among the team and ministries was remarkable. Mark and Rusti Griffin are such amazing hosts with  real hearts to love and serve people everywhere.


Breanne wrote something on her blog I wish to quote,"This summer, we've gone from being blessed to play with children in the slums of Costa Rica and Nicaragua to being blessed to stay and rest on a beautiful island or beach. We've had days of sitting in an apartment giggling and studying the Bible together. We've also had days of sitting down and hashing out misunderstandings between us. We've been healthy and gone running at a nearby park, and we've been at the clinic or hospital with parasites and intestinal infections."


It is not easy for any of us to sum up the last two months in Central America. In the ups and downs on the mission field you learn "to count it all joy" as Paul stated in the bible.


Thank you to so many of you who made these last several projects possible for us! By your prayers and support you are a part of these seminars and change.


One last news piece! We have a new addition to the team at Lightforce, Ana A.

She serves as field director in Nicaragua for Lightforce as well as an incredible translator, prayer partner and co ordinator!


more to come soon!

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Where Do I Start!!






It is difficult for me to know where to begin in explaining the events of this summer so far here with Lightforce International. Words fail me to truly articulate my heart at this moment. I feel honored and humbled to have been apart of God's work here in Central America these last few months and even more honored to have served alongside so many amazing people.

Many of you who follow my blog know that Susannah has been my partner in "fighting crime" from the beginning and this summer she has since returned to the United States. I could never have done any of the starting of our organization without her and I will miss her greatly. Susannah was also an incredible friend and a great adventurer. Memories of tears, laughter, heat, bugs, long bus rides, times of desperate prayer, intense obstacles, flat tires, flashing fuel lights and brainstorming over chickys and peanut butter were the days of small beginnings in Lightforce International and Susannah's part. Love you Sus!


















I am thrilled to share that I now have a new partner, Laura Perry, here with me. Laura prayerfully made the decision to join Lightforce International and move to Costa Rica. She will be the director of communications for Lightforce as well as my constant traveling companion. Laura has done so much in helping as emails from all over the world pour in and important decisions have to be made speedily. We have been sick together, cried together, laughed together and learned together. Ministry among the exploited, abused and prostituted can be extremely difficult and heavy at times. Yet, God's faithfulness shines through and we stand in awe as He works.

 




















We also have our counterpart for Costa Rica, Vivianna. I am so blessed and excited as God's forms our tiny team of fighters.
























We started June off with a press release, launched our new Tshirt design, hosted our very own booth at a music festival, made it through a series of radio interviews, painted a mural for Rahab Foundation, established an internship program and wrote the curriculum for the Passion and Purity seminars. So many of my friends and church family lost sleep and consumed lots of coffee to help me pull off the above list. Thank you to all of you who volunteered at Lightforce's booth and bought a Tshirt! A special shout out goes to Susan Trout of Hands On Originals, she worked hard with me to pull off the new Tshirts. Not only is she an incredible sales rep but also an incredible friend.




We held VBS in a rural area of Costa Rica in Pastor Jose's church. To help with this project, my friends 'Opposite Youth' came to help. This was a wonderful and tough experience for all of us. The children were blessed and many tears were spilled at the end of that amazing week. The children of this area still call me from Pastor Jose's phone asking in such sweet little voices when I am coming to see them again. AH, melt my heart!
The following week my amazing group of interns worked hard to paint a mural for my good friend and adopted Mom here, Mariliana. Mariliana is the founder and director of Rahab Foundation.  These girls were amazing servants and never complained. Just when we settled into a wonderful routine, it was time for me to put half of them back on the plane!

At the end of June I headed up to Nicaragua with Breanne and Laura to join up with my friends from Village Ministry International to conduct a series of Passion and Purity seminars and VBS. (the rest to be continued in next blog!)

In the mean time, check out one of our interns and our photographer for this summer Breanne's Blog.
http://faithleaps-hoperises.blogspot.com/2010_06_01_archive.html





Thursday, July 1, 2010

Upcoming Event with Lightforce!

Passion and Purity: Are You Willing to Fight?

With a culture saturated in sex and distorted ideas of how women and men should look or act, young people everywhere have to fight for the purity that their maker has entrusted them with. But there is a change in the wind; God is raising up a generation willing to fight for what the enemy has taken away.

LightForce International Ministries is committed to the fight. In addition to reaching out to exploited women and children, it is our heart to help women restore the standard of purity in their hearts and lives. From July 19th-23rd, LightForce has the privilege to partner with Village Ministries International and Young Life Nicaragua and hold five one-day conferences in five different Nicaraguan cities. These conferences, themed Passion and Purity, are specifically designed to target young women ages 13-21 and restore the hope of innocence.

In addition to speaking to the women on love, sex, dating, and marriage, we are also engaging them through drama, crafts, and serving them a meal. This creates a unique opportunity for our partners to fight with us.

We ask that you please pray for open hearts and minds in order that the Gospel of Jesus and the message of purity would be solidified in this generation of young women. We can do nothing except through Him who gives us strength, and we covet your prayers intensely.

This is also a chance to partner with us financially as well. As we are expecting 50-100 women at each conference, which is 250-500 for the whole week, we need the help of our partners now more than ever. Right now LightForce needs $700 for food alone for the week. If 25 people gave $28 each, we could feed and bless these young people!

We ask that you give whatever the Lord lays on your heart. You can go to www.lightforceintl.com and click ‘Donate.’ Or send checks written to ‘Cornerstone Church of Lexington’ with ‘LightForce International’ in the memo to the following address:

LightForce International

C/O Cornerstone Church of Lexington

P.O. Box 21821

Lexington, KY 40522

Thank you so much for your prayers and support thus far! It is only when we partner with the Body of Christ as a whole that we can reach a generation looking for hope!

In Him,

LightForce International Ministries

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Press Release

God is doing some amazing things in and with LightForce International Ministries this year. Our very first press release was launched just this past week and I wanted to share it with everyone! I promise to update everyone soon with a more detailed account. Hugs and Blessings!

LIGHTFORCE INTERNATIONAL SHOWS POWER OF ONE IN FIGHT AGAINST HUMAN TRAFFICKING

Kentucky Woman a Force to be Reckoned With in Battle against Costa Rican, Nicaraguan Sex Trade;

Mariposa Micro-Finance Project Helps Women, Children Learn Jewelry Trade for Alternative Income


LEXINGTON, Kentucky and SAN JOSE, Costa Rica (June 8, 2010) – One woman from Lexington, Kentucky is on a mission to help sexually exploited women and children in Costa Rica and Nicaragua experience a new way of life. Love, support and teaching a new trade – jewelry-making – are the tools this missionary uses as she brings hope and aid to hungry, abandoned and exploited children in the two Central American countries that the U.S. State Department calls “source and transit” points for forced prostitution.

Anna Carroll, founder of LightForce International Ministries, works in cooperation with Costa Rican and Nicaraguan church leaders who guide and support her efforts, especially in the border areas. LightForce International’s anchor program is called “The Mariposa Project,” an outreach that supplies food, basic medicines, and workshops for learning jewelry-making. Mariposa means butterfly in Spanish. Carroll, the daughter of Pastor Kim Carroll of the Cornerstone Church of Lexington, which sponsors the mission. has dedicated this project to the transformation and redemption of exploited women and children involved in prostitution.

“We want every victim to have the opportunity to experience the love, beauty, freedom and hope found in relationship with Jesus. It is through The Mariposa Project that we have begun to reach the women and children in Central America by holding fiestas and trade workshops. Out of these outreach events we are slowly gaining their confidence and trust,” said Carroll. “This project is dedicated to my grandmother, Betty Bell, whose initials "BB" make the wings of the butterfly. She was the first supporter of the jewelry project.”

“The transformation from brokenness to wholeness is a metamorphosis that begins by loving people where they are and as they are,” explains Carroll. “The jewelry workshops allow women to see there is another way to support themselves. We ask the ladies to make three pairs of earrings, one of which we resale to support the ministry.”

This summer, LightForce International will partner with Village Ministries International to host a series of seminars on abstinence, health risks and purity in the northern mountains of Nicaragua, a region where young girls are at high risk for prostitution and trafficking. Carroll is currently visiting Kentucky as she prepares for the upcoming Ichthus Music Festival, June 16-19, where LightForce will have a booth to distribute information and sell tee-shirts and jewelry in order to raise funds to support this summer’s outreach programs. For supporters unable to attend the Ichthus festival (www.ichthusfestival.org), donations can be made through the ministry website at www.lightforceintl.com.

While other cultural or religious leaders may be debating social justice, Carroll’s mission demonstrates a growing awareness and commitment among American evangelicals to fighting modern slavery. "Human Trafficking" has been selected as the Evangelical Press Association's "Cause of the Year" for 2010. EPA will present a special "Higher Goals" award next year for the best article on this general theme published during the 2010 calendar year. This special award is designed to encourage EPA publications to write about this pressing human rights issue.

"The ongoing tragedy of human trafficking is an offense to God, who values humans so highly that He sent His own Son to die for them," said Doug Trouten, EPA executive director, in an announcement about the 2010 Cause of the Year. "Those who treat people as commodities to be bought and sold are sinning against their brothers and sisters, and against God who created people in His image."

Human trafficking involves luring, tricking, coercing or forcing people to work in exploitative conditions for little or no pay. Although human trafficking often involves the forced shipping of people from one location to another, it sometimes happens within a nation. Some claim that human trafficking is the fastest-growing criminal industry in the world, with annual revenues exceeding $40 billion. The United Nations estimates that nearly 2.5 million people from more than 100 nations are victims of human trafficking.

"Human trafficking is a large enough topic to include slavery, indentured servitude, debt bondage, forced marriage, prostitution and other forms of commercial sexual exploitation, the sale of infants for adoption, organized begging, and forced military conscription including child soldiers," said Trouten. "The issue also connects with questions of how we treat refugees and runaways." After drug-smuggling and gun-running, human trafficking is estimated to be the world’s most profitable criminal activity.

More of Anna’s Story, in Her Words:

While pursuing a medical career in Lexington, Ky., and working with several ministries through my local church, I felt a tug. It was time to go.

I’d gone on several short-term mission trips, but thought that someday, God would call me to mission work full time. When he called me to work with children in Costa Rica, I closed down my American life, and said, “God, take me where you will. I want to be your hands and feet. Write my story, your version, your way.”

Once I arrived in Costa Rica, I realized that it wasn’t my story that would be the focus. He wanted to share with me the stories of thousands of hungry, abandoned and exploited children. One image stands out in particular. In Costa Rica, I saw a bright pink backpack bobbing up and down on the back of one of the cutest little girls I have ever seen. The 10-year-old bounded up to me, wrapped her arms around me and introduced herself. She had just returned from school. As she ran off to play, a woman told me her story. As is often the case with child prostitutes, her impoverished family sold her at a very young age to a hotel to be used as a prostitute. They sold her for $7. She was later rescued and placed in a Christian shelter, where she now lives. Perhaps, like me, this story brings tears to your eyes and has you call out to our Father, who alone can rescue and heal these children.

Right now, I’m working with churches in Costa Rica and Nicaragua. One Costa Rican congregation in particular has a huge burden (but few resources) to reach sexually exploited youth in the area. These children are hidden by older prostitutes and work primarily at night. They are smuggled between the two countries by truck drivers. The congregation had been praying for God to send a missionary who could look past the darkness and bear God’s light. I’m honored to be an answer to that prayer. Praise the Lord, I get to see the look of hope in eyes that once looked hopeless. We invite women and children from both countries to our rescue fiestas, and – against tradition – they are coming. High officials are taking notice and offering their help. No door remains closed to us, because the way is paved by the prayers of his people.

Costa Rica and Nicaragua are just the beginning. Christ longs to crush human trafficking, and I pray He uses LightForce to stamp it out from every nation. We desire to equip local churches with the necessary resources to combat this issue, all the while preaching the gospel, our message of hope.

God reigns, and He is good.

Additional Information
More than 3,000 girls and young women work in San José’s 300 brothels. Now rivaling Thailand and the Philippines as the world’s leading sex tourism destination, Costa Rica is credited with having the region’s largest child prostitution problem and has been flagged by INTERPOL, as the country is fast becoming the hemispheric capital of sex tourism.

LightForce’s Plan in Central America:
• To feed the women and children.
• To teach other trades as means for in­come.
• To raise awareness and to educate the world about the problem of exploitation & prostitution.
• To preach the Gospel – a message of hope.
• To love the women and children.
• To connect them with the local community of believers (local churches).

Nicaragua is principally a source and transit country for women and children trafficked for the purposes of commercial sexual exploitation and forced labor. Women and children are trafficked within the country and to neighboring countries, most often to El Salvador, Costa Rica, Guatemala, Honduras, Mexico, and the United States, for commercial sexual exploitation. The most prevalent form of internal trafficking is the exploitation of children, both boys and girls, in prostitution. NGOs identify Managua, Granada, Esteli, and San Juan del Sur as destinations for foreign child sex tourists. NGOs report instances of forced child marriages between young girls and older foreign men, particularly in San Juan del Sur. Children are trafficked within the country for forced labor in construction, agriculture, the fishing industry, and for domestic servitude. - U.S. State Dept Trafficking in Persons Report, June, 2009

Factors that Contribute to the Trafficking Infrastructure
Throughout the Central American region, “machismo” attitudes are prevalent, and women are often viewed as sexual objects. Interfamily violence, the breakdown of families, and poverty push young people to leave their homes and communities to search for better lives. The pull factor of the United States also causes many young people to migrate northward. To a lesser extent, pull factors entice young people toward more prosperous neighboring countries, for example, from Nicaragua south to Costa Rica. (Nicaragua has the second lowest per capita income in the western hemisphere.) At border crossings, children are especially vulnerable to the whims of corrupt immigration officials or traffickers who help them cross the border.—The Protection Project, Johns Hopkins University

For more information about LightForce International Ministries, visit lightforceintl.com and letgodwrite.blogspot.com. LightForce International Ministries can also be found on Facebook and YouTube. Anna Carroll tweets at @AnnaMCarroll.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

This Little Light of Mine......

One of the first songs I learned to sing as a child was called, "This Little Light of Mine."  For those of you who may not be familiar with this particular song, it went something like this,
This little light of mine
I'm gonna let it shine (x3)
Let it shine, Let it shine, Let it shine

There were many verses for this song as well as hand motions and I remember them all to this day.  Lately, there is one particular verse that has stuck out in my mind and well describes life for me in recent months.
Don't let Satan blow it out
I'm gonna let it shine (x3)
Let it shine, Let it shine, Let it shine
Many days, I feel as if my light is so little and insignificant; I fight though with a relentless determination to NOT LET SATAN BLOW MY LIGHT OUT! I have learned the importance of being decided. In the Bible Paul speaks of the fact that our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. I have never felt I truly understood or personally witnessed this verse in my own life until now.  At times, the realms of darkness I have seen and fought against that surrounded the lives of women and little children  have made me want to run.  Yet, there is something greater and more powerful to sustain my heart; the knowledge that the voice that calms the seas, spoke the world into motion, who conquered death and can make the night shine like the day, lives in me.  There is nothing more powerful or greater than my God and because He lives in me, I have power over darkness. I get so excited and re fueled when I begin to think of these things!

Susannah and I spent four days in Nicaragua last week visiting various ministries that were similar to LightForce.  I asked as many questions as I could desiring to learn as much as possible.  Certain stories were hard to take and absolutely heartbreaking but for security purposes I have decided not to share them on this blog.  I also heard beautiful and powerful stories of redemption.  God is good.  We learned to navigate the sections of Nicaragua that were new to us pretty well and the favor that seem to ensue at times was amazing.  Towards the end of our trip we were blessed to stay with Mark and Rusti!  They are an amazing couple who are laying their lives down as missionaries to Nicaragua.  I had the wonderful privilege of staying up very late one night talking with them and hearing their wisdom and insight into situations I had encountered.  Praise God for His people around the world.  Their home, fellowship and hospitality was the perfect ending to an emotionally draining week.

This week, I have been beyond blessed to have Amber as my roommate and she will be here for two whole weeks.  Just in the few days I have come to know her, I have felt so encouraged by her heart and life.  Amber showed up with a heart ready to serve and love on me as well as gifts and an array of talent and wisdom to add.  At one point she gently told me I was going to have to let her love on me a little bit and learn how to receive.  Ha ha, she was right as I have proven to be a slow learner in this department ;)

Today, my Mom and Karen flew in from the States with more gifts, love and hugs.  I feel overwhelmed in a good way!  Tears cloud my vision as I try to type and I cannot even seem to really find the words to describe the depth of gratitude I feel to have these women here with me.  This past month has been the hardest month I have ever experienced since moving to Central America.  This past month has also been full of sweet surprises.  On one of my lowest days, I received a package in the mail from two of the most incredibly thoughtful people.  The package contained my favorite snacks and an assortment of things every girl loves to get and it made me feel normal and not so far from home.  I am so truly humbled.

Below, I have included several pictures taken by Alumbra Photography of the recent children's fiesta and just highlights in general of a trip to a border area.  May God bless all of you who read this blog and pray for us here in Central America.  Thank you so much for supporting LightForce International Ministries.  I pray for those of you Christians reading this that you would remain decided to let your "little light shine", what difference one "little light" can make in the world.

* NOTE  Click on the pictures to see in full.



Sunday, April 4, 2010

It Is Well With My Soul because I'd Rather Have Jesus

In 2 Samuel David makes a statement that he can't give to God that which cost him nothing. Although I had been walking with the Lord for sometime, it wasn't until the summer of 2006 that I truly surrendered my heart, dreams and ideas over to Him and made Him Lord of everything. I told Him, down any road at any cost, I would follow and I truly meant those words. Since that day, there have been seasons that have led me down a path ending at the foot of the cross. Upon arriving at this place, I have had to lay my preferences or desires there and walk away. Knowing that to truly know God and to live for Him, I had to lay it all down; surrender everything.  A friend once told me that God will take us to altar moments, just as He did Abraham with Isaac. In those altar moments, it will not be enough to simply build the altar; it will not be enough to simply lay that "thing" on that altar; but He will require us to raise the dagger and be willing to put to death that very "thing" which appears more important than Him. 

In  following Christ, it is supposed to cost you and me. We all should live with the mindset as David lived.  My altar moments have called for me to move to another country and lay the dream of house, marriage and family in the USA down.  I am asked often by strangers who are simply curious about my life and choices if I just did not want to get married or have children or live in the USA.  I often reply that I believe I will one day have a marriage, family and home, preferably on the mission field. However, at present this is what God has for me and is doing in me.  I have to trust in God, I cannot afford any other option. 

Maybe for those of you reading this, your altar moments have looked nothing like mine.  However, the point is not if yours are similar to mine but rather do you even have them. Does your life lived before Jesus allow for Him to call you to the foot of the cross and lay down that which is held more dear than Him? God cares more about your willingness to lay something down for His name sake than the actual something you laid down.
 
 On March 26th, 2010 my grandmother, (known to many of us as "Nanny") closed her eyes for the final time and passed away. I received the phone call from my father early that morning informing me of her peaceful death. I wanted so much to be there with her, to hug her one more time and say goodbye.  When the choice came to fly home, I turned it down.  God gave me the option but in my heart I knew I needed to stay.  As painful as the decision was and still is, I do not regret it for one second.  Upon hearing of her death it took me many days to gather my thoughts and challenge myself of the decision to live here and of the cost. 
 
Thank you to so many of you who sent emails, cards and messages containing your condolences and prayers.  I am one very blessed girl!  
 
There is much on the agenda this month for Light Force and I am excited!
 
On the week of the 19th, I will have three awesome women coming to help us conduct the next outreach beyond the border! Amber, from Georgia, will be here for several weeks with me.  Karen, from Kentucky and my home church, will be here a week.  I have known Karen my whole life and it is truly a precious privilege to have her come and to be able to serve alongside her here!  Last but not least, my Mama is coming!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  She will be here for a week and I am so so excited.  Here I am missing my family but choosing to stay and God rewards that by sending family to me.  The most beautiful part is that He doesn't have to but He chooses to and that concept makes me cry all over again.

I am leaving the lyrics to one of my favorite hymns, which was the last song I sang with my grandmother.
 
I’d rather have Jesus than silver or gold;
I’d rather be His than have riches untold;
I’d rather have Jesus than houses or lands,
I’d rather be led by His nail pierced hand.

I’d rather have Jesus than men’s applause;
I’d rather be faithful to His dear cause;
I’d rather have Jesus than world-wide fame,
I’d rather be true to His holy name. 

Than to be a king of a vast domain
Or be held in sin’s dread sway,
I’d rather have Jesus than anything
This world affords today.