We love what we do in LightForce. We count it an awesome privilege to see the daily working of the Holy Spirit in the lives of people from the streets. Whether they’re learning English, exercising with us, crying on our shoulders, learning how to make jewelry, sew a scarf or simply sit and laugh with us; we see Him working. Always working, fighting on their behalf through us. However there are countless days that everyone of us on the team fights the question, “Is it worth it?”
This question most often arises in our minds, no doubt in tough times. I spent the month of October on the road in the States, speaking and raising money for our work in Costa Rica. At one point during that month, Sarah (my new assistant), looked at me, with a weariness in her eyes and said, “Do you realize we have been in five different places in the last 6 days?” I had honestly not even noticed. I had become so accustomed to much travel these past two years. I looked at her and smiled an understanding smile. Later, alone with my thoughts, I wondered, “Is it worth it?”
I am extremely close to my family. My sister, Rachel, is pregnant, the first one of us to go through pregnancy. Words cannot describe how hard it is to miss so many sweet moments as she prepares for her little girl to join our world. Although, I have Facebook and Skype, they are never quite the same. The question echoes in my mind, “Is it worth it?”
All of us girls on the team make do with the clothes we have and the food we can afford. Don’t get me wrong, we do not go hungry at ALL! We love the challenge of figuring out how to stretch or invent recipes! There is just fleeting moments when we are all tempted to go home and just find a job. Sometimes we say it aloud, other times, we silently ponder.
When a girl we have worked so hard to love and invest in her change, returns to a life on the streets. The question dances in our minds, mocking us, “Is it worth it?”
There are days when the question screams out at me and I feel too tired to ignore it or fight it and I ponder it longer than usual. Today was such a day. Round and round in my head like a broken record. I felt burdened and then guilty for thinking on it so long. As I played with five year old Daniella tonight at the Agape House, while her mother was in our English class. The realization hit me, this little girl’s fate of a life in prostitution may have been changed by the fact that we are all here. It is in this moment Daniella is shrieking with laughter as I tickle her, I know, “It is worth it?”
For just one little life, it will Always be worth it…….