My beautiful family :)


 My time in the US was bittersweet.  I was loved on, pampered and spoiled by my friends and family.  It was wonderful to drive my car (as simple as that little pleasure seems), eat at all my favorite places and curl up on the couch with my parents watching movies.  For the first few days I pretended that I lived there again.  I went running in my favorite park and it was so nice to not worry or look over my shoulder every five minutes!  However, reality would come crashing in when I would talk about my life here in Costa Rica and the children Susannah and I will be working with at the border.  As memories of my life here in sunny Costa Rica would come back, I would begin to miss being here and with my friends here.  After all, life was in Costa Rica now right?  I was not a Kentucky girl anymore, however I was not truly a Tica either.  I had never felt so torn between two worlds.

One day I went for a run in the park near my parent's house.  This park has been there for twenty years and I had been going there since I was a little girl to swing and play.  That day, I wanted to be a little girl again who could swing and play without a care in the world.  The park was empty and the weather was beautiful.  I sat on the swing, closed my eyes and began to just simply swing.  I began to sing softly and just worship.  In that moment such peace flooded my heart and I was home.  Then it hit me, I am not supposed to belong anywhere in this world.  In John 15 Jesus said, " ....you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world."  I realized the only thing that was comforting to me was Kingdom culture.  I don't belong to Costa Rica or Kentucky or Cornerstone Church.  I belong to Jesus and in His culture. This was the first time I truly understood and related to that verse.
After this revelation, visiting my old life in Kentucky was so much easier.  My sister Erica's wedding was beautiful.  Being apart of her and John's special day was a privilege.  I was so blessed that God worked it out for me to be there for everything!
The morning of my flight back to Costa Rica, I kissed each one of my little sisters' cheeks goodbye as they were all still sound asleep.  (Three of them still live at home.)  I hugged Mom and Dad goodbye at the airport and waited for my flight.   I felt tears begin to build up in my eyes and the ever familiar question ring in my heart, "Why?"
Why leave again? Why go alone? Why have to say goodbye? Why me?  The reassuring answer always replies with Luke 12:48, "From everyone who has been given much, much will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked."  I have been given so much and God has entrusted me with much.  That is Why I must go.