I have only five days left in the US. Today, I counted; counted the days left here, counted the months until I return and above all counted the cost. I know that over these next months I will miss weddings, birthdays, funerals, celebrations and holidays. All of these events in the lives of people I love and know. My heart was filled with grief when I learned that a dear friend, who has been sick for quite some time, will pass away while I am gone. The hardest part, I won't get the chance to say goodbye or sing at her funeral like I had always promised I would. Tears filled my eyes and then a gentle whisper from the Holy Spirit reminded me of a passage in the bible I have known by heart since I was four years old:
"The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures,he leads me beside quiet waters,he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, [a] I will fear no evil,for you are with me;your rod and your staff,they comfort me. You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows. Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever."

Comfort flooded me instantly and I was reminded of the the story in Luke 9 where the man comes to Jesus and says, " I will follow you wherever you go." and Jesus replied by letting the man know He had no where to lay His head. Then Jesus looks at another man and says, "follow me" but the man's reply is to ask for permission to bury his father first. Jesus' responds to him by telling him to let the "dead bury their own dead and you go proclaim the kingdom!" Yet another man comes and says he wants to follow Jesus but first wants to bury his mother and father. The final reply of Jesus continues to echo in my mind today. He replies with, "No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God"
Maybe some who read this would find Jesus terribly insensitive, however I somehow find it beautiful. Jesus issued a call to my life then and now. When Jesus bids us come, He expects us to trust Him.
I realized today that the Lord knows and understands what hurts and He is always with me to comfort me. He knew the day He asked me to go to Costa Rica all that it would cost me personally. Now He lovingly challenges as I pack up what is left of my life here, "Do you trust me Anna?" The answer, "Yes Lord, I really do trust you."